I never have quite understood why people get sad around the holidays. I understand the stress of last minute shopping and cooking for a critical mass audience. Stress yes, sadness no. But this year was different. Not so much different in where I was or what I was doing. But different in how I let it all get to me. I'll say it, I feel blue!
Lets start with last Friday. We got snow! I lie in Tuscany. We get rain, but we don't often get snow. At least never while I have been here. The softly falling snowflakes and quiet that always accompanies a winter wonderland put me in great spirits, excited for the prospect of a white Christmas. To be cliché, a Christmas just like the one's I used to know. I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago. Christmas never seems to be Christmas without snow. Base was buzzing, they even shut it down Saturday evening. (See how ill prepared they are for snow!) By Monday the temperature was up to 50 degrees. Yesterday, I wore flip slops in our frigid 60 degree temps. I know, I know. How can I complain?
As the week wore on it became clear that the mail I was expecting was not coming. A dumb thing to be upset about, but mostly I wanted the 40 stockings and stocking stuffers for the soldiers to come in. I mean, I wanted the presents hubby ordered as well especially since everything I had bought for him was already here (and he had opened most of it!).
Christmas Eve came. I got up at a laughable hour to cook a hilarious amount of food. But, the lunch/dinner for the soldiers went off well. They even helped clean up. Two of the soldiers were responsible for cooking the Turkey so I wouldn't have to transport it from home to base. They started cooking one at 1 am in the morning while it was still frozen and the other one they only left in a for a few hours. Needles to say, I did not eat any turkey. Everyone else did though. I haven't heard anyone who is sick yet...fingers crossed. And then I came home to an empty house.
Vince, of course, worked both Christmas Eve and Christmas day. So as I sat at home last night, waiting for him to get here I started thinking about my family and friends. I threw my own pity party, picturing what everyone was doing with out me. Feeling lonely and left out. Missing my family and wishing I were home.
Home...home. that word that always gets me into trouble. I tend to believe that home, for a daughter, will always be where her dad is at. However, I don't think there is only one home. Home is also where ever I am in the world with Vince. I just sometimes wish that where ever wasn't so far away from all of my other loved ones. As exciting as my life might seem to everyone else, I miss the creature comforts we all take for granted. Phone calls always have to be planned because of the time difference. Visits are expensive. I can't go to target on a whim or get good take out chinese. Coffee dates with girlfriends are a bit difficult. I can't always talk to my dad whenever I need to. I am missing my niece and nephew grow up and every time I go home my grandparents seem older when before they were always ageless. It seems silly now to call my mom just to ask how long to microwave a baked potato or talk to my sister about nothing because now it seems i need a reason.
But it's the military life. I knew what I was getting myself into. I said yes fully knowing my life would be changing. I knew we would move every few years. I knew that friends may become too busy for me and that in general, I suck at keeping in touch so it would be work. I didn't expect to meet anyone who compared to those I have left behind. Its the military life. I realized that holidays would be spent apart from family and that Vince is an MP, so he works holidays and weekends. I realized that I was trading comfort and familiarity for adventure. I said I do with a full heart, an open mind, and an understanding that life would be different.
But knowing doesn't make it easier. Tonight, when Vince gets off work we are going to friends for dinner. They have become close friends of ours. As have a few other people we have met. They are our replacement family for the time being. They understand and go through the same things we are going through. I know we will stay close with them after we leave. They are our military family and I am thankful each day I spend apart from those back home that I have them. I don't think I could survive this military life without them.
Our Christmas tree...small and scarce, but we like it1
