 |
| I'm pretty sure if willpower were a super hero, it would look like this. |
Sounds simple enough, right? But seriously, I hate this word. It gets thrown around in such a distasteful and condescending way. The girl having a donut...she must have no willpower. That guy eat his fast food lunch, no will power. Ourselves making an unhealthy decision even if we have been on track he entire rest of the day (or even rest of the week!) ... no willpower.
Did I mention I hate this word? I hate it so much in fact I try to never use it. And it isn't because I don't have willpower. I exercise willpower every day. I don't sleep in so that I can get more done. I don't skip the gym because I know working out will give me energy throughout the day. I'm sure you can think of countless examples of how you exercise your willpower. But for some reason, when it comes to food (mostly desserts...especially ice cream) I seem to have lost this fierce willpower. I will even think to myself, man I have no willpower. But ahem, I do! As I have just expressed to you.
So, I stopped using this word in terms of food. It isn't willpower (or lack thereof) that is encouraging me to eat a big bowl of ice cream or sneak a few chocolate chips. And all this beating myself up about having now willpower really wasn't serving me. It was making me doubt myself. I was questioning my strength, my commitment, my love of self. I was tying so much meaning to my willpower that if I didn't stick to plan even just once I felt so off track that I would just spiral down, because, well, I had no will power so I might as well just prove it to myself and everyone else.
Um...hello...its food. Eating some sweets doesn't mean I am BAD! It doesn't mean I don't have willpower. It doesn't mean I can't make a healthier choice for my next meal or snack. And I realized as I was assigning myself to the "no willpower" group I was also giving myself an excuse to just eat like crap. I didn't have willpower so I didn't ever need to meal plan or prep. I didn't need to be conscious about what I ate at all. I wasn't even enjoying the indulgences because they were kind of taking over my diet.
And I am not talking about "me" of a year ago. I'm talking about "me" of last week. I'm talking about "me" of yesterday. I didn't understand why I was resorting to these old eating habits and feeling like I needed to eat all this junk. And then I realized this willpower issue had crept back in. I love food. I really and truly do. I love how it is attached to socializing and emotions. I love how it can bring back fond memories, make us feel happy, bring us pleasure, and unite us with others. I love how it can make us feel loved and cared for and thought of. I love all of these things about it but it also is a double edged sword. Because food is just food. Food is good. It nourishes us both body and soul. It gives us energy. But, we sometimes let food take a place in our lives it doesn't deserve. A place that it starts to have control (this happens in other areas too ... money, material goods, ect). When I eat junk it doesn't make me feel good. Not because I feel guilty, but because physically putting in sugar and more sugar into my body don't serve me and don't sit well. When I eat healthy and have a treat here and there, I feel energized and I find enjoyment.
I think its time to cut ourselves some slack and cut out this word. Stop insulting yourself to be healthier. Stop saying you don't have willpower an start enjoying your food.
